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25 September 2017

My first week in London feels like a month, to be honest. There's so much to see and experience I keep forgetting I actually live here now. London is my home city now. So far I've been loving every bit of it: the unique people, the boiling hot tube, the architecture, the flukes. The city changes every day, every hour, even every minute and I think that is just amazing.

So what have I been up to? I've enjoyed lovely afternoon teas (yes, multiple times) in Covent Garden. I've carried numerous bags from Westfield after hours of shopping. I've sat in the library completing university's pre-arrival tasks ("Sunglasses" seen above). Last but not least I've attended London Fashion Week with the company of the ever-so-lovely Veera who was visiting London last weekend. I found a beautiful rose-golden ring by Tada & Toy to mark this new beginning in my life.

I'm in love with this city I can call my home. I'm in love with this life of mine and where it has taken me. I'm in love with the words one of my friends wrote: "Maailmalla on tapana antaa ja kantaa, kun luotat sen voimaan" (translates to: "The world has a habit of giving and carrying when you trust its power")

nail polish • Essie "eternal optimist" // ring • Michal Negrin
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12 September 2017

Aaaand I love it! This is my absolute favourite time of the year! Primarily all the earthy colours of nature, fashion and mind are just so relaxing and comfortable. Secondarily my life seems to take a whole new turn at this time of the year and it's oh-so-exciting.

As I'm eagerly waiting for Saturday when I move to London I've been busy enough to almost forget it. It's been a whirlwind of meeting friends, shopping for necessities and constant panicking over accommodation. Last week the latter sorted itself out so now I'm light at mind and sleeping through the nights.

Amongst all the more or less fun running of errands I've somehow managed to make time to attend the Gloria fashion show held in Helsinki's Cable Factory. It was a magnificent event and, in my opinion, more enjoyable than Aalto's show. I still have one more fashion show left in Finland and then I'm heading to the London fashion week with one of my best friends. I can't wait!

Last Sunday we went on a little day trip to Tallinn with mum. I got my head messed up by the sea sickness pills and so the day was sort of a haze. Still, we enjoyed delicious Indian food, found a great sock shop and took a few photos every here and there. In the picture I'm wearing this beige sweater from & Other Stories which, by the way, is the softest piece of clothing I've probably ever worn. I've been basically living in this sweater and constantly painting my nails in this dark red Essie polish called shall we chalet. Did I already mention I love the autumn colours?

Some very good things (in addition to those mentioned above):
Baby Driver (2017)
Game of Thrones
& Other Stories
white wine
horse riding in pouring rain
oversized washed denim jacket and dark red lipstick
my 'London Baby!' Spotify playlist featuring:
No Other Way by Paolo Nutini
I Don't Know by Wax Tailor
Daddy Issues by The Neighbourhood

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3 September 2017

It only takes your time and eats your mind. Why is it that we look at the next person with a silent disgusted look on our face? I always say how I don't want to spread hatred or jealousy yet time after time, amongst certain people I can't help but feel I'm lacking something and they have it. It's an unwanted competition I try to walk away from but the toxins are already loose and oh, the temptation to give in to them is luring.

When I sit there and the other one tells about the things I get jealous of I try to think it this way: it’s their life, it’s their choices and their values. Mine might be more or less different but nevertheless capital M mine. In this life of mine I get what I’m given and I can make the most out of that. I’ve been given so much — much more than most — and still there will always be others who have been given more. It’s not my loss. However, it is my loss if I give in to jealousy. I don’t know why is it so hard to remember there’s no gain in jealousy but the absolute opposite.

Today I took the train to the capital. As I was sitting face towards a window on the other side of the corridor uncertainty stroke me. I started looking around: what were others wearing, who were they with, what were they like. I regretted what I had chosen to wear, which choices I had made with my look, with my values, with my life. Before I knew the toxins were eating my confidence. Lord, I hated it. So I popped my headphones in my ears and turned up mellow beats. I shaped up and put my elbow on the windowsill, closed my eyes and started tapping the floor to the rhythm. I played piano with the fingers of my right hand. I opened my eyes and there was an old man standing in the lobby of the train, tapping the floor with his foot in the same beat, looking at me and smiling. I smiled back.

As I understand it, jealousy is about not feeling enough. We need attention. We need recognition. Well, at least I do. One smile, that’s all it took to vanish the toxins. One smile and I gained back my confidence. I got that smile by not envying the others but fighting against it.
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