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31 December 2015

Ah, Limburg, what a lovely city you are! As the sun rose on Tuesday morning all three of us were still sleeping. Yet, it took only couple of ours to pack our city purses and squeeze to the car. I had been promised a wonderful day in the old town of Limburg. God, did they keep their promise. The old town was stocked up with teeny-tiny shops on teeny-tiny streets. A Christmas market could still be found on the square and so we bought some really delicious but super sweet Nutella crepes.

A cathedral was located on top of the hill with its beautiful towers. We hiked up {yes, it is considered hiking when you're wearing heals like that} and entered this gorgeous work of architecture. I have a thing for high ceiling spaces so I was totally mesmerised the whole time we spent inside.

In the evening, after spending some time getting ready we jumped to the car once again and drove back to Limburg for our dinner which has become a little tradition of ours. We ate a fancy dinner in a fancy Italian with some fancy rosé wine. Later on we stopped by a local pub which was everything I have ever wanted to see. Take the pub from the Holiday and double that. I'll just say it was one of the most perfect days I've ever had. 

I was wearing the same outwear as yesterday {including a Zara coat, a Zara scarf and a fox fur beanie} except form the shoes which are my absolute favourite shoes! I found them from a shop called Zio here in Finland. They are black leather block heel pair of Wonders and couldn't be more comfortable. Yes, you read right, heels and comfortable in a same sentence. I think this is one thing you should really think about investing in. You get only one pair of feet which are, by the way, the most underrated part of your body. As your feet are working none stop the whole day everyday it is only right to spoil them with a gorgeous pair of comfy shoes.

A good trick for when you want to wear a coat that's actually a bit too thin for the weather is to wear a thin cardigan made out of wool. The cardigan works as lining and doesn't show or make you look chubby. My grey one is borrowed and then gotten from my mother's wardrobe. 

My dress is from Zara. It is the same one I bought and wore for Christmas. I gotta love the fabric; it is so light and doesn't wrinkle easily which is always a huge plus while traveling. For a day look I paired it with some thick white stockings with some patterning. This way the outfit got more relaxed and more suitable for a city day. For the dinner I changed on some thin black dotted stockings. And then of course, there on my arm I have my trusty Mulberry.
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The beginning of my little adventure to Germany was misty and magical. We drove up to Bornich, by the Rhein river and climbed up a mountain to a lookout place called the Loreley rock. Legend tells there was once a beautiful woman combing her hair and singing on a rock making all the men so mesmerised they didn't notice their ships shank. The story is a bit creepy but the view was absolutely marvellous. The fog had a surprisingly huge effect on the atmosphere. We felt like in some kind of wonderland.

I am wearing a bird patterned shirt from Zara {which, I just realised, you can't even see from the pictures but it's there} and paired it with some authentic riding pants {been to the washing} and a dotted navy blue sweater from Lindex. On my arm I am carrying a birthday present form my dear auntie. This is a konjak brown Mulberry which I absolutely adore and cherish. My coat is originally from Zara but later on "borrowed" from my mum's closet. I like to call this beautiful shade of yellowish-greenish-brown simply the vomit colour. The coat also looks like a bush which is totally cool. The beanie is one of my favourite things at the moment! It is such a fun and personal looking accessory with some fox fur and a great colour. And since we're going with the simple colours theme I added a wine red scarf just from Zara.
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25 December 2015

Christmas. Never been my favourite time of the year. 

This year I had high expectations. Last year my Christmas was, well, very different and I don't know if I liked it or not. So this time I knew what to expect and knew how I wanted things to go. Because that's what I am; a bit of a control freak. I liked it this December. I got to go to places I knew and when I wanted. I bought presents and I didn't have to send them millions of miles away.

Still somehow I broke to tears more than twice this week. Probably the most frustrating part of this is that there's no obvious reason. So imagine people asking "what is it?" for the millionth time and I just cannot answer. Although, I have been seeing quite weird and rather awful dreams lately. In these dreams I have done a tiny mistake which somehow has turned out to be really fatal — practically my main fear in life.

Here in Finland we celebrate Christmas on the 24th being the Christmas Eve which was yesterday. We had our grandparents over and had a lovely dinner followed by unwrapping the presents. It was wonderful again and I got way more excited I had expected. This morning I woke up from a terrible dream which practically ruined almost half of the day. Somehow having a shower always helps. I think there's been an actual study about this; washing the worries off.

Under all that vain worry and tension I found something. The best present I can get is dreaming. I got reminded about my trip to see my friends in Mid-Europe (departing on Sunday, yay!) and our plans for New Year's Eve amongst many more exciting things over in 2016. I love dreaming, I love planning and I love both of them so much I don't even mind if they never came to live. The world I can create inside my head is the most beautiful and safe place I know. All I need is a spark of inspiration which is given to me by the ones I love.

Merry Christmas. Keep dreaming.
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23 November 2015

Yesterday morning the Southern Finland woke up on a happy note. 

As soon as I opened my curtains I could see a delicate white layer on the ground and sprinkled on the trees. The sight of first snow is pleasant every time. Yet I have never ever considered myself as a winter and definitely not a Christmas person. Something must have clicked seriously in my head during last year since seeing snow made me almost scream — out of happiness. I was actually excited to get my mittens out and go out to enjoy the very fresh air. The world has gone crazy. Ask any past year me and you'll get an answer filled with pure disgust towards the whole winter.

I am not stressing about the Christmas presents {at least not yet} and I actually enjoy gathering a Christmas themed Pinterest board. I have had a bunch and a half of Christmas / fairy lights on my walls for about two months already. I have a Christmas scented hand cream on my desk right next to a whole cavalcade of candles. I don't recognise myself anymore.

Maybe a year apart from the idyllic white Christmas of December overall made me realise what I had taken for granted. A different Christmas made me finally realise I didn't want one. I want a traditional Finnish Christmas which I thought I had hated my whole life. It is rather refreshing, actually, to have some new opinions about things. To be honest, I was quite bored on hating Christmas while everyone else couldn't get enough of it.

Let's see if the climate change would be willing to change its mind as well. I'd really like to have the White Christmas this year as well as all the upcoming ones.
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12 November 2015

I can still remember how I used to write about my future. Back then all my future included was the exchange year. Little did I know life continues after the exchange year. But it does. And now it's time to get real with the next life plans.

I want to go to a university once I graduate from upper secondary. It's not just any uni I wish to attend, no: it's the UAL. I've mentioned my willing to study abroad couple of times during these past couple of years but only now have I really started the research. I don't know why it took so long for me to start. I guess I wanted to live in the ignorance for a little longer. Anyway, now I've started and now I'm hooked.

It feels like my whole life has clear goals and destinations again. I know what I have to do in order to get where I want. This makes life in daily bases so much easier since I don't have to consider my every move anymore. Or actually I still need to consider every single one of them — the difference is now I know the right answer straight away. Hooray!

I want to become a designer. That's my dream at the moment. These dreams for life have changed during the years but the desire for designing has been a part of them in almost every case. There was a time I wanted to become a artist, then a vet, then an architect and now a fashion designer. So it's always been pretty straight forward on what I want to do, except the vet {that was the time I was an overly enthusiastic horse girl and everyone wanted to be super rich when they grow up}. I've always enjoyed art, watching it, analysing it and most of all, creating it.

I've been a bit down for these past couple of days. It might have something to do with the fact that I'm a bit sick at the moment but also having hearing comments such as "it's really hard to get it to that school" or "have been considering the employment possibilities after you graduate because it doesn't look that promising" etc etc. I've forbidden myself to listen to those comments and oppositely concentrate on those who are on my side and think I can do great things. Luckily, the majority of people in my life support me and encourage me but there is always a few individuals who seem to gain something out of disheartening me.
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7 November 2015

My screen is screaming. My mind is screaming. Write something!
Busy. That's a topic that has been ruling my world during the last couple of weeks. So on this late Friday night early Saturday morning in I decide to write about it. 

What does being busy mean to me? To me it means being useful and quite obviously being productive. I feel important and needed when I look at my calendar and see how I'm running out of space to add stuff. Running from one place to another gives definition to my days. Also by knowing what I need to do makes planning my weeks so much easier. I can easily say I hate the blank spaces.

Why do I hoard projects? Let me rephrase that: Why would I no hoard projects? There is literally zero cons in this issue. While pursuing my creativity and increasing my knowledge I make new friends, contacts and get the daily doses of sociality overall. Also, I think one has to start somewhere and school {etc.} projects are probably the best and definitely the easiest way to do that.

Do I have any spare time? Yes, quite a bit to be honest. I often have plenty of time to 'destress' at home every day. Usually Monday till Thursday nights I end up watching an episode of some series on TV, having dinner with my family and just relaxing. Then there's Friday and Saturday which are most often dedicated to non school stuff. This is the time I work with my own projects such as photographing, writing, blogging, painting, skyping {yes, it is a project, believe me}, meeting friends etc. Lastly we're left with Sunday which is the day I take a soft landing on the following school week and finish all school stuff I'm left. I want to get all this done during the morning-midday which allows me to continue with my own projects for the rest of the day. I value spare time, I just think one shouldn't have too much of it.

Is it worth it? Absolutely! As I mentioned in the beginning I feel useful and productive while busy. If you are a control freak even as tiny bit as I am you might enjoy it too. Just know when to say no. This is what I've learnt through the hardest way. Prioritising becomes your best friend sooner or later in your life so why not sooner. I used to think I will miss out if I pass. The truth is I was right — obviously I'm gonna miss out if I pass. The important question is, do I care. And if I do, how much do I care. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how you'll enjoy being busy.
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30 October 2015

I've lived my whole life in a faith and according to that faith professionals know their stuff. During the last couple of weeks I've come across multiple not-horrible-but-absolutely-not-brilliant presentations. It literally drives me crazy.

You all must be familiar with the situation of a bad presentation. I've given couple of those myself and listened to more than one of them. I know we're all learning and that we're not perfect, but, I mean, please.

In my school we are now having weekly presentations by professionals of all kinds: a doctor, an engineer, a therapist etc. I've attended three now and let me tell you my opinion: either I know absolutely nothing about those careers (which I won't be separating here for obvious reasons) or they are telling something really wrong. I am supposed to be there to find out about careers that I might be interested in and take some notes for the reports we have to hand in in the end of the term. Instead I'm sitting there and making notes on how that particular presentation could be a million times better. 

Really, as far as I know, anyone can google "how to get in to university" and if unable we do have student councillors to do that exact research. The professionals, as I've understood, should be there to tell about their jobs not about how you can get it. I'd understand if there was a brief slide on how-to but the presentation should focus on the real job itself.

This problem doesn't exist only in career presentations, oh no. Lately there's been so many bad-structured or just lame presentations I don't know what to do. I feel the urge to interrupt them and start again myself. Obviously, as a well-mannered lady (you can always wish) I end up sitting quiet with a nice pretentious smile through the whole thing. When they've finished I might ask some questions just to get a brief answer that really says nothing. There goes the social skills, I say.

In the end I am quite devastated how this whole thing is organised. It's either brave or stupid to write about this but I thought it might create some conversation as this is a subject I have a strong opinion after a really long time. I'd be really interested to hear how you feel about this and if you've had similar situations.
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30 September 2015

School is everything I didn't expect. Still, I always knew what it was going to be. I knew it all, based on my first year, although the second year was going to be different in any case. In this case it just depended on how different this year could be.

Despite all of my many fears I settled back to high school already on the first week. All of my anxiety had been for nothing: everyone seemed to remember me and the new classmates seemed eager to get to know me. One thing had changed for sure: the need of the group has vanished.  Last spring my good friend summed it up pretty well when I asked her how had the second year been. "I don't even mind going eat by myself anymore" she said. It is exactly like that. It's wonderful to know a lot of people but I'm just fine if I ever need to or get to spent the whole lunch hours in my own world or studying.

Talking about the actual studying, I'm exceptionally pleased with the results I've noticed. Wether it's history, advanced maths or even advanced Swedish I'm doing really well. The exam weeks have just kicked off and by far I've been a bit nervous but mostly excited. A year off made me realise there's more in life than just school and that school is not forever. I did enjoy studying before but now I do even more — now that I know my grades don't define me.
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26 August 2015

and I might be astonishingly fine with that.

I've been getting quite a few comments about my current interests during this summer. I knew I was going to be a bit "different" due that I had just spent a year no further than the other side of the world. I still didn't realise how much I had changed as a person {as everyone does in this age, I've been told}. The most obvious change was in my style which had taken a radical turn January. As did literally everything in my life. That girl who refused to put on anything baggy, who loved Katy Perry, who didn't really care about yellow nor anything retro woke up one morning absolutely loving oversized shirts, Taylor Swift, yellow and desperately wanting a typewriter and a vinyl player. I swear, it was a revelation.

Changing when no one even knows you at all is exceptionally easy compared to the struggle I faced once I came back. People knew the old me. Some people knew the old me dangerously well. So in reality what I faced was a tiny existential crisis. It took me until last weekend to actually define myself well enough to know what I want to do next with my little project called self-improvement. Someone dropped the label for probably the twentieth time. I denied everything, for probably the twentieth time, but the next day I really got into thinking about it for the first time.

I like my sweaters and my ankle boots. I love my typewriter and my postcard collection. I deeply love my dear MacBook and my beautiful cameras. I cannot say I "like" the popular music {except Taylor Swift, of course} and really enjoy more authentic, the less over-replayed tracks. I went totally crazy about the fairy lights about a month ago. I have a rather complicated coffee order to place. Of course these things don't define me completely, not even close. There are much deeper features that build my character. I just thought it felt nice to be placed in a group for once. Also, fitting in one group doesn't take away the possibility of fitting in dozens of other groups. Think it as a passport: the more stamps, the more interesting, but in the end someone needs to tell the stories of those trips.
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15 August 2015

Cold cafe au chocolate sits next to my macbook. My beautiful calendar lies on the left side. I have a need to surround myself with pretty things. I mean, I have scissors shaped as the Eiffel tower. I have a mustard yellow typewriter. I have a clapboard. I have a pretty decent collection of everything I will need in my own apartment. 

Since January, when Minttu moved to her own apartment I kinda got a moving fever. I go to IKEA far too often and end up having multiple interior plans for my apartment — which, to be clear, I don't even have yet and probably won't have for at least couple years. I google apartment blue prints, print them and start planning where I'd put my desk and clothing rack and so on. In a nutshell I go crazy with interior design.

This might be just a part of me realising I'm 18 and that I want to become an adult. I'm gonna state it again: for me the definition of being an adult is not about all the usual stuff {drinking alcohol, driving a car and so on}, for me the definition of being an adult is cooking parties. I guess it might seem and it might even be a bit pretentious but all my underaged life I've seen my parents having so much fun with their friends coming over, cooking together and sitting in the living room with fancy looking glasses of cognac {or whatever} and chatting. That's what I've been waiting for. And gosh, have I waited long.

I'm still living with my parents and I love it here, I really do. But a big part of me graves for an own apartment, The Yellow Castle. The Yellow Castle is a metaphor for my dream life. The Yellow Castle is the answer you get when you ask what I want to have when I'm grown-up. The Yellow Castle has high ceilings, a warm grey kitchen, beautiful bathrooms, a walk-in closet. Most of all it will be the perfect venue for cooking with friends, for sitting in the living room with friends listening to old blues.
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9 August 2015


How am I supposed to do this?

I'm Kaisa, 18 and I do wear hats. My wardrobe is the replicate of Taylor Swift meats Spencer Hastings meats Blair Waldorf. My ideal self is the replicate of Taylor Swift meats Spencer Hastings meats Blair Waldorf. I guess you could call me mainstream. Don't, tho.

I haven't been doing nothing, if that's what you thought. No, I've been here and there. I came back from Australia {but that you already know, I hope} but then I met people, went to France, met more people got my driving licence, went to Austria and yesterday my little sister had her confirmation. I'm going back to school on Wednesday. See that odd girl in the art class? Yup, that's me. 

And then, next weekend, we are gonna have a cooking night with four of my friends at my best friend's own apartment. It's all very adult. This is what I've been waiting for my whole freaking life. A classy evening with my friends sipping white wine and eating delicious food while listening to my very self-explementary Spotify-playlist called "when I'm a happy grown-up in a big city drinking fancy coffee". Yup, it's a thing. Except it's not really a big city and possibly doesn't include coffee but you get the idea.

Being 18 doesn't necessarily mean being an adult. An adult would know how to spell "necessarily" without autocorrect {note-to-self}. Still, being able to drive the car, drink champagne and being treated as an adult means a lot to me. I don't know if it's just me, I feel like people take me more seriously now.

It's all very new and exciting. There is a certain glory. Honestly, I was so freaking excited going to the bank for the first time by myself, to get my own bank account information etc. You'd think it's oh-so-boring. I guess it kinda is, but just knowing these professional looking people don't treat or think of you as a kid makes my world. I get very excited every time I get a bill by mail. 

And even tho I'm not 22 yet, I still am happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time and it sure is miserable and magical. Yeah. So thank you Taylor Swift. You keep telling me how to do this 'cause it seems to work.
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12 July 2015

A couple of weeks ago a little group including myself took a trip to Suomenlinna. It is a little island  at the front of Helsinki. It is a really beautiful place to visit on a nice summer day as the one we got blessed with. Just catch the ferry from Kauppatori square market and enjoy the sea and the wind, and before you know you're already in Suomenlinna. The gorgeous old houses and the gorgeous yet creepy old castle welcome you to the island. We loved to explore the dungeons and the tunnels as well as play hide and seek there when we were kids. Now I get so scared so easily I can't go near either of them alone. It's still loads of fun... with a group of people.

In the afternoon we had a little picnic on the rocks while watching the cruise ships pass by. If you ever find yourself on this island make sure to make a flower crown because there simply isn't a better way to make the day perfect.
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13 June 2015

If you've been following my blog for a while now you'd know I make an annual trip to one of my best friend's to Jämsä. We became friends with this particular person via internet of which you can find more about over here. Iida and I share a passion for photographing but both of us have been struggling with the lack of inspiration and motivation lately. Since neither of us had been photographing for the whole month of May we couldn't resist the urge to pick up the camera, for the old times' sake. I am proud to announce we did pretty well.

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3 June 2015

I kept a journal during my exchange year and swore by heart I wouldn't read back for ages. As predicted I couldn't help myself and opened the sealed covers of this little masterpiece. I got to admit – some stories thoughts I've written I wish I didn't read again but the other ones are bursting with some deep thoughts, thoughts worth thinking again. You mind find this interesting as well. I hope you share your thoughts about my thoughts.

Australia  ·  9th of March  ·  11.43pm

Oh my Gosh! I cannot wait to get home and get my life sorted. It's funny how every single time I'm telling this same story — a prophecy — to myself and every time I believe it, every time I swear by it. I tell myself how moving somewhere is going to change my life and especially make it better when the reality is that the time nor the place matters when it comes to our happiness. It is ourselves what makes the difference.

We are constantly longing for something we make ourselves believe we need. I thought the exchange year will make my life change into a movie — which it time to time did. Then I got lonely and bored and decided New Zealand wasn't the place for me after all and started to wait for the day I'd get to move to Australia. Life got better but not as much as I had made myself believe. It's ironic how I just blindly believe myself every time.

At the moment I want to go back to Finland, back home; back to my room, get my hair cut... I assure myself — subconsciously — that my life will get better once I get my hair done. Maybe I know — subconsciously — that in the end there is only a disappointment waiting for me to see and acknowledge it.

My life probably won't get massively better once I return. But then again — this time I actually know what's waiting for me: I know my family, I know my culture. Or do I just tell myself I do? Now when I really think about it: how can I be so sure I know? I don't I want to but I can't. And that is really scary. It hasn't been scary before because I haven't thought about it. I have just assumed everything's gonna be the same without questioning anything.

There is a higher change thing's have changed than the change of everything staying the same. I'd be naive to thing everything and everyone would be waiting for me. I'll never be that important. And the thing is that no one is and no one should be. The only thing we should be waiting for is actually nothing. We don't just wait around in today's world. In today's world we have dreams, destinations and we work and work hard to reach them. We don't just sit around and wait for things to happen. We have to start somewhere. And we shouldn't be too afraid of disappointments because they are out there and they are unavoidable. I shouldn't be waiting to get to Finland to be able to do something with my life again. All time is precious. The time nor the place matters. I'm just as sick as my mind tells me to be. And going home is the pill that doesn't help. I need to tell myself to not be sick anymore.
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30 May 2015

It's all over now. Well, that was a lie. Only my exchange year is over now but the people I've met, the things I've learned  and the things I've seen will stay with me forever. Like Natalie "warned" me this is something I will refer to for the rest of my life.

I've been home for a month already and the whole year still feels like a dream I'm finding extremely hard believing. It's all coming back — I remember things and they make the whole thing feel more real. Exchange year is something so incredible I'm really struggling finding words to describe mine. The reality is I cannot. The organisations have the same problem.  What they say in the leaflets is nothing like the year really is. It's something bigger, better and more life-changing than you could imagine. It's something you'd need to experience yourself. And even after that there would be no one else than you who'd understand your personal experience. So, this is just something I can try but always fail to tell completely.
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29 May 2015

follow me on Instagram @katkettu
I've found a heaven on Earth. A breakfast heaven, to be clear. This easily best and cutest café melted my heart and it'll do the same for yours. Let's start with the already too adorable name: Cowch. They even have udder lamps hanging from the ceiling. The interiors designers have done excellent job with making the café look very chic and playful without going over the top. A great wooden desk stands in the middle of the open room giving the space a cool authentic look.

And then there's the menu. If you know Julia and myself at all you're not going to be too surprised when I tell you we ordered basically everything we could. I'm not saying we finished it all but we were really close. Part of the reason must be it was the ANZAC day and we had been up since 2 am and were starving at 7 am, the other part was clearly the fact the food was SO delicious.
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20 May 2015

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