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14 June 2016

19


So much more beautiful and wise.

That being my rather sarcastic answer to the classic What is it like to be 19 years old. Compared to the situation a year ago I do feel more sure and strong. 19 is the perfect age in the middle of all the big changes: one kind of knows how stuff works but doesn't have to face the real reality yet. So I enjoy my time. 

Now I have a better picture of myself. I'm starting to form steadier frames of my likes, my dislikes, my values and my environment. I would say this makes me overall happy. I know where to push my boundaries and know where my absolute limits are. 

Now I want to point out my friends. You know who you are and I know you are there for me. There's close to nothing that can break me when I know I have my friends besides me. This year has truly shaped my image of friendship and it surely has tested the whole concept.

If I was to describe this year with one word that'd be a terrible mess, a huge knot that has started to sort itself out little by little and still far away from clear. It was easily classified as a very tough year. I worked more than ever and ended up in the middle of a so much drama – without even noticing.

So this year I want to open my eyes and look around without forgetting to dream and imagine. There are way too many changes ahead to take. I will still. I want to try to survive the way I best know how to. Once again, I'm not 22 yet, but I'm still happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time. It's been and it will be miserable and absolutely magical. 

photo credit // daydreaming in the meadow by Jani Nordqvist

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