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24 January 2016

Golden Star musical

I signed up for my school's musical production on the first day of autumn. Had I known it'd be such a powerful experience I would have cherished the time even more.

Our musical, Kultatähti (Golden Star), was about three girls struggling in the world where music is considered in so many different ways. One of them wants to just make art, second of them is a bit shy and the last one just wants to get loved by someone. The latter, Juuli, is a character that really develops  during the act. She starts as a comic and sarcastic character portraying an uprising pop diva but as the story goes on we got to see a whole new side. She is struggling as the other girls have someone to call and love when they're far away from home and Juuli has simply and only her 42 Instagram followers.

"Mä muistan kun muhun uskottiin / I remember when everyone believed in me
'Tosta tulee jotain', niin povattiin / 'She's gonna become something great', so they said
Nyt mä oon täällä, voin kaiken saavuttaa / Now I'm here and I can achieve everything
Mä pelkään tää ei mitään merkinnytkään / I'm scared this didn't mean anything
ja kohta taas aivan yksin jään / and soon I'll be alone again"

Sylityksin (In your arms) is probably my favourite song in the musical. Juuli's verse really hit me only this week and I pondered it multiple times. I found an alarming amount of similarities under all of her excitement and affectation. This world has been cruel to her in some way and made her tough. She has created a mask for herself to ensure she'll receive acceptance one day.

Juuli faces a tragic death in the lady's room of a night club as she throws a handful of drugs into her throat. In all her despair and loneliness she rises her face and states:

"Musta tuntuu, että mä nousen / I think I'm rising
kohti kylmää taivasta / towards the cold sky
Ehkä musta tulee tähti / Maybe I'll become a star
Vaikka oikeasti halusin vain olla jollekin... kulta / Although really I just wanted to be golden to someone"

In the ending scene Juuli appears as an angel and all the girls sing together and the crowd is weeping. It was a beautiful production. It somehow changed me and at least made me realise important things. Gold Star has been a part of my life for quite a long time in such and I have learned to live with it and for it. Now that we're finished with the show I don't know what should I do with my time. Well, we have exam's starting on Thursday but that's barely nothing compared the musical.

One of my dreams in life, in general, is to get to be part of something. It doesn't have to be anything special but I just don't want to get left alone. This musical was a very special project to me. I even gave a speech just because I felt like it. I have to let that sink in. It was probably the bravest and most ex-tempore thing I've ever done. Maybe I'll become a star.

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